Thursday, 29 January 2015

FULL BEAM! Hits financial difficulties - RED LASER CORP in bail-out.

After a recent audit by the IMF - Full Beam! Ltd has been ordered to FREEZE all operations until a time where it can be deemed fit for proper and regulated conduct in accordance with international law. 

Full Beam! CEO Randall Marsh found guilty of insider trading in relation to hundreds of cases of serious financial wrongdoing ie buying far too many bangers off discogs and from Russ at Vinyl Exchange. Marsh successfully files for 'Bulb-rupcy' under certain conditions.

As of from Friday 6th February all intellectual property and boogie credentials of Full Beam! to be owned, overseen and released into the care of Red Laser Corp until a time where Marsh can sort his act out and he and Full Beam! Ltd can successfully come out of Bulb-rupcy.

Conditions of Red Laser Corp bail-out

1. All Full Beam! intellectual property and boogie credentials now owned by Red Laser Corp.
2. Randall Marsh (Marsh) and sonofapizzaman ('pizzaman) ordered to 10,000 hours each of community service to be overseen by Red Laser Corp.
3. Marsh and 'pizzaman to sign contracts where they will be literally paid in peanuts to DJ (No Frills not KP) and put posters up for Red Laser Corp.
4. Full Beam! Hydrofoil now owned by Red Laser Corp (subsequently serviced and customized to run only on wines recommended by Il Bosco here: WINE REVIEWS #1   WINE REVIEWS #2   WINE REVIEWS #3)
5. Il Bosco buys 51% stake in The Pizzashop and now owns controlling interest in all Margherita pizzas, garlic breads (including the ones with tomatoey sauce on) and veal steaks.
6. 'pizzaman forced to sign over his pizzavan to Red Laser Corp for use in tactical maneuvers as part of Operation Bulb. Il Bosco sticks massive 'Red Laser Disco' sticker to side of pizzavan and commenderes it for a business trip to Wall Street USA.

Actual footage of business trip.

7. 'pizzaman also ordered by the court to make vids for Red Laser Corp on demand.

8. Marsh n 'pizzaman legally obliged to record promo mixes for upcoming Red Laser Corp events.

9. Marsh legally required to produce merch for Red Laser Corp including this fantastic range of 'Bulb-Ray' (Trademark yo) specs. (available on Friday 6th February - whilst stocks last. Get down early!)

10. Marsh legally required to bang out posters on behalf of Red Laser Corp.

10. Marsh legally obliged to post links to upcoming Red Laser Corp events. 



11. Marsh ordered to release Full Beam! material in torpedo bays including this blinder from Si:Fi

12. Marsh sentenced to start Full Beam! Records once fully recovered from Bulb-rupcy (Trademarking this as well). Marsh to send out the following greetings card to a host of high profile industry producers dead or alive.

Bat coated in super toughened, bulb-resistant anti-agent cement.


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